All politics is local politics

I'm drafting my own leaflet for the county council elections, and Rule One is read the competition's leaflets first.

Somebody standing for the local residents' association delivered a leaflet today which includes the following NIMBY gold:

• We know that weak representation has resulted in Buckhurst Hill being forced to accommodate many more flats and housing - worsening our infrastructure problems.

• LRA opposed construction of huge car parks beyond Debden (suggested by a Conservative County Cllr) on the already over-capactiy Central Line - which would mean YOU would never get a seat.

• Remember: LRA fights to keep and improve our attractive greens and open spaces...

We've much to protect in this lovely area from our open spaces to our vibrant shops. I've four grandchildren and walk my dogs in the Forest daily. I was 25 years at Epping Forest College, now I'm an Ofsted Inspector.

Or to translate that into English:

• The hundreds of people who live in the few new homes which have been built over the past few years can fuck off and those homes should be demolished. Only homes as old as mine or older should be allowed to stand.

• I'll campaign for the car park near our local stations to be closed down so that people who want to get on the train at the next few stations are more likely to get a seat.

• We are a grass and tree-based economy. People don't matter. In fact the fewer of them the better...

We've much to protect in this lovely area from our open spaces to our failing shops (there not being enough customers or young people prepared to work in them for low wages). I've four grandchildren and walk my dogs in the Forest daily. They need somewhere to shit more than you need a home. I've worked for the government all my life.